Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
