my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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