Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
