in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
