did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
