I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
