you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
