you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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