I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
