note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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