I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
