We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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