I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
