4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize