I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
