My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
