I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
