we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This is my gift to your gina
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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