Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
