oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
