im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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