Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
