Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
