also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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