turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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