I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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