if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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