I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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