I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
