Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
