i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
