Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
