Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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