i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
