I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
