You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
