rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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