in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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