also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
