Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
