i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
