I'm really into asian looking animals
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
