can u get pink eye on your cock?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
