i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
