I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
