i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
