Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
