At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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