I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
