butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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