why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
