Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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